Well, as much as I knew that many kids return home to the nest after leaving, I did not think that would happen in my own nest. But it did. Not only that, but my baby bird brought a friend with him!
Hubby and I thought long and hard about this decision. We still are not sure if it is the right one, but when do any of us as parents feel 100% right about our tough decisions? T had been out of our house for about a year and he has really struggled to make it. He told us on many occasions though that he did feel he made the right decision on moving out and he has come to appreciate things so much more. Money has really been an issue for him though and the Bank of Mom only gives out so much money. He ended up living with his girlfriend and her parents. Through no fault of T’s that situation ended and they were left with no where to go, at least no where they could afford. So after much thought Hubby and I offered to let T and his girlfriend move in with us for a while. Never in a million years did I think I would be that parent who let her son and his girlfriend live with us. Never. But if I learned anything during these two decades of parenting is that you never know what life is going to throw at you and you just have to keep moving forward. T’s girlfriend, C, is sort of estranged from her family as well. It’s a tough situation.
What Hubby and I are hoping is that by letting them stay with us they can get their lives stabilized a bit to start. We have given them a firm exit date as well. While they stay with us they pay us “rent” but we are actually saving that money for them. This way when they are ready to leave again they will have a nice little nest egg saved up to start out again.
Along with the firm exit date and the money requirements we laid out a few other rules. Nothing really extreme. We expect them to both work. They are required to help out around the house, do their own laundry, and most of all, be respectful. It’s been just about a week since they moved in and so far things are going okay. It has been nice having family dinners with everyone and I feel like we are catching up with each other. They are respecting our boundaries and we are trying to respect theirs as well. It is nice having another girl in the house too, I’m not outnumbered now. It still is all new though also in learning this new balance as a parent in this new situation.
One thing I am sure of though is that my baby bird is still my baby bird and he always will be no matter how old he is. And no matter what I always have enough love for my son and now for the person he loves too. I am still worried about him and his future but a little less worried since I know where he is. Parenting is hard. Really hard. It does not matter how hard it gets though because it is still the best job I have ever had and I cannot imagine my world without my baby bird.[signoff]
© 2014, Robyn Wright. All rights reserved.